Be Still: Healing Through Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD
Have you ever woken up in a reactive state—immediately overwhelmed, angry, or anxious before your feet even hit the floor? I did this for years. If I had a bad dream or was startled awake, I didn’t take a moment to gather myself. I jumped right into my day carrying that energy with me, reacting to everything, and letting my emotions dictate my actions.
But that’s not how I choose to live anymore. It is not a perfect journey and never will be, but I am much better now since I implemented this practice and continued to bring it into my day.
I’ve learned that "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) isn’t just a comforting verse—it’s a daily practice, a reminder, a lifeline. It took me years to truly understand the power of stillness. It wasn’t an overnight change, and I am far from perfect. But I am better than I was before, and that’s what matters.
We tend to get down on ourselves when we don't get it all right. Here's a fact for all of us and a good reminder: we will NEVER get it all right all the time. This is why it is important to remember how far we have come and how we can continue to stay the course. Maybe we relapse. That is ok. As long as we get back on track, that is all that matters. That is where progress comes from. That is how we get to the other side of anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Reactive vs. Proactive: A Shift in Mindset
In my book Reclaim Your Life, I talk about a blog I wrote in 2019 called "Reactive versus Proactive." At that time, I was still struggling with reactivity. My emotions dictated my decisions, my relationships, and my overall well-being. And once I started working through my own mental programming—the habits and responses I had developed from childhood and life experiences—I saw just how many others were operating in the same reactive state.
If this sounds familiar, I want you to know there is another way.
I began taking intentional steps to shift from a reactive state to a proactive one. One of the biggest game changers for me was simply waking up earlier. I gave myself time to:
✅ Gather my thoughts
✅ Release any negativity from my dreams or external noises that woke me up
✅ Set my mind in a peaceful place BEFORE starting the day
It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress. And progress is everything.
One Step at a Time: How I Built the Habit of Stillness
Healing isn’t instant. Just like health, business, or any area of growth, it takes intentional effort and consistency. I think back to when I first started tracking my food. I wanted to be the healthiest version of myself for me and my daughter. I didn’t try to change everything overnight. I started with small steps—drinking more water, writing down what I ate, researching better food choices.
I applied the same strategy to my mental and emotional health. I took what I had learned in one area of discipline and shifted it over to another.
➡️ Instead of rushing into my day, I practiced stillness.
➡️ Instead of reacting impulsively, I took a deep breath and responded with intention.
➡️ Instead of letting anxiety control me, I reminded myself that God is in control.
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." – 1 Peter 5:7
Boundaries, People-Pleasing, and True Peace
A lot of my anxiety came from people-pleasing. Can you relate? I exhausted myself trying to make everyone happy. The reality is, we can never please everyone—and when we try, we lose ourselves in the process. I had to ask myself some tough questions:
What am I allowing in my life that is stealing my peace?
Why am I allowing it?
What am I going to do about it?
Through time, prayer, and wise counsel, I made changes. I stopped letting people walk all over me. I set boundaries. I learned to say no without guilt. And I stopped seeking approval from people who would never be satisfied no matter what I did.
"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." – Proverbs 29:25
Invest in Yourself and Keep Moving Forward
Here’s the truth: you won’t learn everything you need on your own. I didn’t. I sought help. I invested in myself through coaching, mentorship, and community. I made sure I had people around me who challenged me, held me accountable, and pushed me forward.
I also had to stop asking permission to invest in programs I knew would help me. Sometimes, unfortunately, our families (even our spouses) won't see the value in what we see value in. It is not their fault. They just aren't living our lives. They don't need the same things. Or, maybe they do but they are too proud to admit it. That is ok. Their limitations don't have to be our limitations.
There is a saying: we are the average of the 5 people we hang out with. Look at your surroundings. Are these people fostering your growth or hindering it? If they are hindering it, you may need to get around other people.
For my health to change, I needed to be around healthier people. For my business to change, I had to get around other business owners who operated in a similar space and who valued themselves. For my life to change, I had to begin setting healthy boundaries, remove myself from anyone and anything that didn't serve me, and not be afraid to be misunderstood, judged, and disliked. This is the reality of what we go through when we are shifting but those around us are not. Nevertheless, while it can be a difficult process, God sends people into our lives to help us get through to the other side of healing. I would love to be one of those people for you. I also have others around me who I am happy to share. I always say, "My people are your people." Everything I learned the hard way and all the things I have gone through led me to want to work on myself. We can either accept our fate as it is or we can take control of the one person we have full control of (ourselves) and make necessary shifts. This doesn't mean we go on some mass diet or hurt ourselves trying to work out like others when we haven't worked up to that. It means we take the first step, get around others who genuinely want to help us, and keep going even when life tries to take us off course. What you see from me today has not been an easy journey. However, it has all been worth it. I want you to be able to encourage someone with a similar testimony one day. They need to hear your voice. They need to hear how you got through the hard times in your life. This is how we pay it forward.
I realized something powerful: Life won’t control me unless I allow it to.
I am not stuck. You are not stuck.
We are only stuck if we stop moving forward.
Your Next Step: A Challenge for You
I want you to take a moment today and reflect:
What is one area of your life that you know needs growth?
What is one step you can take today to begin working on it?
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to take the first step. And then the next.
Make sure to join the Lady J Empowerment Community Discussion Board and let's talk about these things in a safe space. Post as yourself or anonymously. Let's build this community together!
"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." – Matthew 19:26
If you’re ready to step into a proactive, peaceful, and purpose-driven life, let’s do this together. Keep failing forward, keep learning, and keep seeking growth. You are not alone in this journey. I’m here for you.
Recommended Further Reading & Study:
Psalm 46:10 – Be still and trust in God's sovereignty
1 Peter 5:7 – Casting your anxieties on Him
Proverbs 29:25 – Overcoming people-pleasing
Matthew 19:26 – Remembering that nothing is impossible with God
Isaiah 41:10 – God is with you, strengthening you
Philippians 4:6-7 – The peace of God surpasses all understanding
